She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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