That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
