I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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