Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
