Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
