I CAN MOONWALK!
Screwed.edu
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Who died my cat blue again?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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