its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
