your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
