Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
