they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
