ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
