I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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