Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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