why didn't you poke me back
I want to have your abortion
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
