i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
