fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
You took a bar mat shot.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
