Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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