just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
