hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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