And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just puked most of my soul out..
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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