I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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