Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Randomize
