It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
