If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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