i barfeds in our rink
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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