I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
