..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
how does that bad decision feel?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
