morning after pill = breakfast in bed
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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