I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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