Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
