i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
