Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
40s are totally the cure
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
