if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
