Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
