he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
