where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
