I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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