Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
