Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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