Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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