Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Who said anything about talking that was a booty call

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(479): View more from Arkansas

he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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(862): View more from New Jersey

this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.

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(509): View more from Washington

i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it

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(416): View more from Toronto

Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".

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(719): View more from Colorado

Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Can I get my morals surgically removed?

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