You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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