I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
