Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
