the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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