I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
