so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
