I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
