I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
