My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
