the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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