The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize